Thanksgiving surprise from a 93-year-old
Sometimes the person who struggles the most when your kid comes out changes the most
Today on her Thanksgiving call, my mother in law Mae, 93, said, “remember when you took Izzy to see Moana when she was little?” I have no memory of seeing that movie with my kid. We saw so many movies, watched a ton of Disney when she was small. Moana must have been 11 years ago. “And right after,” my mother in law went on, “Izzy said, ‘I think I’m Moana.’ ”
It’s remarkable to me that the person who took the news worst when we told her Izzy is trans returned this moment to me from the long ago past, when we understood our child as Boy. Many of my memories from that time are gone, overwritten by the gender transition.
Mae didn’t reject Izzy outright when she came out at 14, just said “this is extremely hard” and got sad and quiet for a few years. But recently Mae has brought up articles and books from her journey to educate herself. A journey she has undertaken alone.
I thanked her for reminding me about Moana. “Izzy always knew who she was,” Mae said.
—N.R.
