4th of July RERUN: Guest Melody Roth, "Why You Should Not Assume My Veteran Husband is a MAGA Republican"

[Yeah, I said I was taking a break. But as the sound of fireworks exploding began, I couldn’t help but think about this essay, which I regard as excellent. I met Melody at PFLAG, and you might think we have little in common. She’s from the south and was raised Baptist. I was raised in north and have little use for religion. But we both have trans kids. I have learned a lot from her and consider her a friend. Please read this awesome piece!!]

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Assumptions. Making assumptions is natural. Our brains need to make sense of things, but as my father always said, “To assume is to make an ass of you and me, ass-u-me”. 

When I find myself out with my husband, the assumption is that we are MAGA Republicans. You see, my husband is a gun toting, camo-wearing, 4X4 F150 driving, die-hard deer hunting, gray-bearded retired military veteran.  We seem to attract the MAGA Right like bees to honey. Total strangers feel free to comment, with a head tilt and knowing look, that they are glad to have people “like us” in the neighborhood. The implication is clear, and once someone even said “I can’t wait to see our guy back in the White House.”  They looked confused when I responded that “our guy is already in the White House.”

To break it down, the assumptions are generally about my husband and based on his appearance. He and his truck (via their stickers and mud) are generally adorned in military and hunting paraphernalia, whereas I am not so easy to identify except by proximity. For some reason that defies logic as far as I am concerned, the MAGA crowd thinks both the military and hunters belong in their camp. They have tried to hijack these groups as MAGA, and I just don’t get it. It turns my stomach when they assume we are one of them. 

The way I see it, my husband loves both the military and hunting because he was born poor. He learned to hunt and fish and trap very early because he was hungry.  At thirteen he started logging in the summers.  He learned to provide for himself, and when he was seventeen he joined the Marines to provide himself and his family with more than just food.  Because he was poor and from the “wrong side of the tracks”, he was often bullied. He says he decided at  8 years old that he would become a Marine. As a Marine, he would be able to  protect himself and others from bullies. It never occurred to him at seventeen years old,  5 '6 and 117 lbs, that he might not succeed as a Marine, and within 7 years he became a Marine Corp Drill Instructor.

Why would the MAGA crowd think that a dedicated career military veteran would support someone who does not believe in the Constitution they risk their lives to defend? In addition,  my husband, and many military, cannot abide a bully, and they know a bully when they see one.  The majority of veterans in our military come from low income disadvantaged families.  They know what it is to be considered less than, to be bullied. Why would they support politicians who cut taxes for the wealthy and big business, while cutting services to the poor, and calling enlisted soldiers “losers”? (Some do, but it is baffling to me.) In the past, the right showed respect for the military. There has been a clear shift in recent years toward  the military’s support for the “liberal” left versus Putin’s favorite, the MAGA right. 

When some stranger sees my husband and assumes we support Trump, it turns my stomach, and it could not be further from the truth. We support our trans daughter and will support her equal rights at all costs.

When your child is attacked by a bully, made less than, all other political considerations fall away. There is only their rightful, equal protection under the law that we hold fast to, and the expectation to maintain that rule of law. Trump erodes both, erodes our Constitution and all this Country stands for.

 Melody Roth is the mother of a trans daughter. She now resides in New England.

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Thanks, Melody— I needed that.

— Tina